Shortly before Christmas I had an unfortunate incident with some of the more vibrant members of the local community that took place right outside my house. At the time, I was in the kitchen cleaning up after lunch while some youths came to my front door. They slammed against the door causing a loud noise and a tremor, momentarily I was startled. Then they knocked over the dustbin and damaged a nearby plant pot and by the time l had come out they had scurried away. I saw them head over to the house over the road and at that point I decided to call the police. Though it was over quickly it still left me a bit rattled.
After being told to dial 101 and then waiting 20 minutes, I was then instructed to visit the Metropolitan Police website. After which, I went through a digital maze to log what had just happened, a 20-minute survey comprising of one click after another, screen after screen, question after question, on and on. I was sent an email which l had to confirm and was then sent a pdf file which summarised what I had just put down. You are basically trapped in the digital archipelago of the state, the online form l filled out felt like booking a holiday or a flight online. There is a question about data protection, a section about ‘my statutory rights’, a question about whether I want to donate to some community cause or other. It was totally mechanised and automated at every step.
Their decision was – of course – sent to me by email, it was the title of this piece, ‘No Reply’, hence the ‘No Reply Crime’. I can't reply to them and they don't reply to me. And for the record, their decision was that they will be taking no further action. So basically, all the above was pointless and a waste of time. All that probably did happen is that the incident became another cell of data in some lackey’s spreadsheet somewhere and that is it. Everything is itemised and mechanised within the managerial system and the technocracy, it is all about efficiency. It would not even surprise me if, in a Kafkaesque way, the crime eventually goes down as being ‘solved’, such is the sheer absurdity of modern-day Britain.
Apart from the pdf file, you are given a crime reference number. In the technocracy, the crime or experience simply becomes information, information that needs to be processed and processed efficiently at that. There is no human engagement whatsoever. This is the technocracy laid bare and it feels like it is only going to expand. The only other thing of note that I received is a link to a QR code that does…. well I am not quite sure what it does to be honest with you, but it does something, ah yes, it links me to yet more information. A pdf file, a reference number, a QR code; these criminals must be really shaking in their boots. Ultimately, the technocracy is installed to manage crime, it doesn’t solve or reduce crime in any meaningful way.
Now, one thing I would like to make clear is that I realise that the episode I outlined in the first paragraph is not the most violent or life-threatening incident that one could imagine (especially in modern-day Britain), but it does make me wonder how many crimes receive the ‘No Reply’ treatment. And while it was not overly threatening, that such incidents seem to occur with increasing regularity and furthermore that the authorities are so willing turn a blind eye to them as well, are very much symptomatic of a nation in decline. Perhaps the police are too busy investigating hate speech or wrong think of one kind or another, painting the rainbow flag on their car or using drones to spy on wandering couples in the Dales – who knows!
.. and when you want to speak to the constable to whom you first spoke on the 101 line, it's not possible. Said constable is away on a "diversity" training course.